


You Need To Take Over, Because I Can't

by evansstan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: But maybe not so deep after all, Cas has had enough of Dean's bullshit, Dean is deep in the closet, First Kiss, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Oblivious Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 12:57:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5540888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evansstan/pseuds/evansstan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>„Dean.“ Cas' voice is hoarse. From all that not-talking probably.</p><p>„What?“ Dean snarls at him and instantly regrets his tone, as the angel lowers his gaze, guilt and pain written all over his face. „I'm sorry. I must be tired.“</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Need To Take Over, Because I Can't

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, I am a big fat liar. Sorry about that.  
> A guess writing is kinda contagious. I really liked it.  
> So I came up with this one.

They are passing a sign that says „Canon City“ when Dean realises it's pitch-dark and probably around midnight already. When he thinks about it, he's kind of tired too, from all that driving for several hours straight. And they need to find a motel soon anyway so he could get his four hours of sleep. They might as well do it now.

Sam's dozed off on the passenger's seat, his head hanging awkwardly. He's so gonna have neck pain when he's awake, Dean thinks to himself. 

He looks in the rear-view mirror to check on Cas, who is staring out of the window into the darkness outside. He seems to be very concentrated, but then-- it's kind of his usual facial expression. Dean is curious whether angels can see in the dark too, among all their other special angelic skills. But he doesn't ask. Things are weird between the two of them since yesterday anyway, and he's just trying to keep necessary distance as much as possible till he figures out how to deal with it. He is not particularly angry. Not anymore anyway. But he's not ready to relive the whole thing either. They've fought a lot. Verbally. Dean might have mentioned things he shouldn't have mentioned, despite the fact that Sam advised strongly against it. He honestly doesn't know why, but he wanted to hurt Cas on purpose. And he's succeded.

It's too soon to have this conversation yet. It could only add extra fuel to that smouldering fire, and it would infuriate Dean again and he would yell at Cas, and Cas would flee to Heaven. Again. And who knows if he comes back this time. Dean doesn't want to risk it. But he knows though they need to talk this shit out some time. Cas has to have a legitimate explanation for why he's said what he's said. „What do you want from me, Dean, it's just the way it is.“ isn't one. Just not today. Dean is going to procrastinate the silence as long as it takes.

There's a „Parkview Inn Motel“ sign right in front of them, and suddenly it's all that matters. They should definitely stay the night in case there's no other option for miles to go. It could be a shitty place, but who cares. They'd had far worse sleeping arrangements in the past years on the road. Dean is a very flexible guy. And if Sam manages to drop off in that uncomfortable position, he must care even less. So he pulls over and pokes his brother's shoulder. Sam jerks his head up and hisses momentarily. His neck must be killing him, just as Dean had thought it would.

They get out of the car in total silence, get their stuff out of the trunk and lock the car up.

While Sam is getting them a room, Dean checks messages on his phone. There's none.

„Dean.“ Cas' voice is hoarse. From all that not-talking probably.

„What?“ Dean snarls at him and instantly regrets his tone, as the angel lowers his gaze, guilt and pain written all over his face. „I'm sorry. I must be tired.“ He adds. He is not very good at dealing with his emotions and for what it's worth, he wants Cas around. He has said that much. So he at least needs to man up and try being nicer to him. Sam thinks he's overreacting. Whether it's the case or not, he has told Cas to get the fuck out. And it was uncalled for.

„I know, you said, you don't wanna talk about it, so we won't.“ He says still looking anywhere but at Dean. „But, are you going to ignore me all the time?“

It's a legit question, and Dean doesn't want to lie to him, assuring him that everything's fine when it's obviously not. But he doesn't want to hurt Cas again. And if the angel's whole troubled figure is anything to go by, he is beating himself up for the both of them. But luckily he's safe for the moment as there's Sam coming their way with two sets of keys in his hand.

„What's up with that?“ Dean asks a little too loud, pointing at the keys. But there's no one around them, so it doesn't matter. „Cas doesn't sleep, remember?“

Sam laughs wearily at him. „Yes, I remember. It's for me.“

Dean stares wide-eyed at him. Since when does his brother need an extra room when they are on the job anyway? It costs twice as much, and God knows they don't print money in their spare time.

As if to answer his silent question, Sam adds „They had only doubles, no twins. Or do you want to sleep in the same bed with me?“

„Hell no.“ Dean isn't going that way. They are not five anymore. Two grown ass men do not share a bed together. Not even when they are related. Especially not. „Gimme my keys, I am gonna drop off now.“

He picks up their bags and heads for the room, Cas right at his heels. „Hey, Sammy?“ Dean shouts as he tries to balance all the stuff in one hand.

„Yeah.“ Sam is still cought up with something by the car.

„Who gets Cas?“ The words are out as he realises what he's just said. Cas tenses behind him. Dean doesn't see it but he can feel it with his whole body. „Never mind.“ He adds quickly, hoping no one would push it further. So he unlocks the door quickly and steps inside.

„I'm not mad.“ Sam says quitly, suddenly just a couple of feet away from them. He must be have been running to get there so fast. „You know that, right, Cas?“ 

Dean turns to look at both of them. The angel nods, eyeing his shoes. „I'm sorry, Sam. I wish I hadn't said what I've said.“ 

Dean knows he means it. But the problem is, it doesn't make it any less true.

Sam pats Cas on the shoulder. „I know. And I understand, I told you. Don't worry about it.“ He smiles lightly and pushes the door open. „G'night, guys!“

„Night.“ Castiel says firmly. But he still looks worried and guilty. 

Dean doesn't get why Sam is the one who understands it. Hell, Dean doesn't! His brother is the kind of guy who would forgive almost anything. Who would exchange places with the other person, justify their behaviour, accept things for what they are and just be ok with it. Dean doesn't possess such qualities. And what Cas has said, doesn't sit well with him. For whatever reason, Dean still needs to figute this one out. All by himself before he's ready to confront Castiel. But he is not supposed to think about it right now. They are sharing a room, they need to stay civil. So he gets a new set of clothing and a toothbrush out of his bag and heads for the bathroom. With a quick glance he finds Cas sitting on the double bed, the only bed in their room, leafing through the bible he found in the drawer.

After taking a shower and brushing his teeth, Dean feels a little bit better. It was a long day, for the most of which they were on the road. He just needs a couple of hours to sleep and he'll be fine enough to drive in the morning. 

When he gets out of the bathroom, the angel is lying on one side of the bed fully clothed in his trench coat, shoes on. He must have fished out his dad's journal out of Dean's bag again, because he's staring at the pages with a feigned interest. 

„That's my side of the bed, anyway.“ Dean tells him. Castiel's eyes jerk to his immediately, his gaze vulnerable but intent. „You may sit in the chair by the window. And no creepy staring.“ He hops on the bed, gets under the covers and turns the light off. There's still weight on the bed, and the angel hasn't moved an inch. Great. „Cas?“

„Yes, Dean?“ His voice is firm and deep in the darkness of the room. Dean wonders whether it's always been like that and he just perceives it differently because he can't see him.

„You're gonna move, man? I need to sleep now.“

The angel sighs softly. It's fascinating, that Dean can hear it suddenly. It's too quite and it's getting really uncomfortable with another guy on his bed. „I'd rather stay here.“ Cas says deadpan. „It's nice and soft and warm.“

Dean turns his head in the direction of the voice, his body stiff. This is getting out of hand quickly. „Not gonna happen.“ He protests, eyeing the darkness where Cas' face is supposed to be. He hopes he sounds confident enough for the guy to get that the idea is highly inappropriate. To say the least.

„Is it still the thing I said yesterday?“ 

Dean shifts uncomfortably to sit up as well. So much for the sleep he was craving for. „You don't get it, do you?“ Anger is starting to boil up in him as he's refreshing the memory of that day. And how he felt and what good reasons he had for that.

There's shuffling and then Castiel says „I don't understand why you're angry, Dean. Sam is the one who should be mad. And he isn't.“

„And I thought you are more human now.“ Dean sighs. But does he even have a right to be pissed off? Well, damn, he is. „I am not angry because you would pick me over Sam. I'm angry, because you tell me my priorities are your priorities. And Sam has always been my priority. And always will be. Understand?“ He doesn't know if he makes any sense. Is he really mad because of that? It doesn't feel quite right. He knows he's mad, so it must be it.

There's silence. For a second Dean's not sure whether it was a good idea to start that conversation right now. It's awkward enough that they are together in the same bed. If they are angry with each other, it won't help. „I understand. And I'll do whatever you ask. As always. But, Dean...“ The angel hesitates. „I will still want to save you first.“

Here we go again. „You shouldn't.“ It would be easier to just switch the lights on and give Cas a glare, that says more than all of his words do, but he can't find it in himself to look him in the eye. It's better that way. „And now get out of my bed.“

At first there's no moving, so that he's almost ready to get physical. Then there's a sound of fidgeting with the sheets and shoes being droped off and then Castiel stands up. For a fleeting moment Dean feels disappointed. He knows he's asked him to, hell, he's basically thrown him out. He just wishes Cas'd fought him harder. But then the moment's gone, and Dean pats his pillow and tries to get comfy again. 

The angel is getting his trench off if Dean hears it right. His invisible movements is all Dean is able to perceive. The bed's empty and all for himself and he should be satisfied, but he kind of isn't. He feels like an ass.

„Dean?“ Cas calls him from the far end of the room.

„What?“ 

„You are not angry because of what you say it is.“ He announces suddenly. And no, it's not a question.

„Sam is my priority. I would die for him.“ Dean tells him for the hundredth time. That's true and he'll stick with that.

Castiel is silent for a brief moment and Dean thinks, he might've dropped the subject and has just accepted it. So Dean closes his eyes and tries to calm his mind.

And then there's weight on the other side again and Castiel slides under the covers beside him.

Dean panics briefly. Hasn't he been clear? „Ehm.. Cas?“

„Yes, Dean.“ He is quiet now, his body hot and pressing into Dean's, so Dean has to move further for them not to come into contact.

„What are you doing? You don't even sleep.“ He goes for confident and irritated again. He is irritated, isn't he? He must be.

The angel sighs heavily in the palpable proximity, his breath hot on Dean's skin. The hunter jerks back with all of his limbs and falls off of the bed. „Son of a bitch!“ He yells, infuriated more with his reaction than the whole situation. But Castiel wouldn't know the difference and it's better that way. „How often do I need to tell you about personal space, man?“ He says from the floor where he's now sitting on. „And that,“ he gesticulates with his hands in the air, though no one could see it. „Is the top of it!“

„No.“ Cas announces resolutely. Now he's the one who sounds irritated.„Either you get up here and get your sleep or you are free to sit down there the whole night.“

If Dean's eyes could pop out of their sockets, that'd be the time. The sudden change in Cas' mood is very much disturbing. Usually he is mild and obedient around the brothers. And slightly uncomfortable too. Probably from all that not knowing how the human thing works. Sure, he is a badass when he's fighting, and Dean would not want to cross his path in any way. Now he's just his determinate self who doesn't negotiate much. 

So Dean climbs back under the sheets and stills himself. He is not sure he'll be able to sleep like that. Cas' body so close to him and his presence very tangible. „So what,“ Dean starts. „You're gonna just lie here like that?“

The angel snorts. Wait, what? Then there's shifting and bare skin is being pressed to his skin in some places, so Dean shifts too to avoid inappropriate touching. „Stop flinching everytime we accidentally touch.“ Cas says in a low voice right into his ear, and Dean shudders uncontrollably. He considers fleeing the room altogether and sleep in the car, but that reaction would be difficult to justify. He's a man, not to mention a hunter. He has fought the scariest creatures of the night.

So he says „Fine. Stop touching me, it's inapproprite.“ His voice might be quivering and he hopes the angel doesn't pick up on it.

Castiel laughs mildly. And it's endearing. It shouldn't be. It's still weird as hell.

„Why are you laughing?“ Dean is in full-blown panic and he situates himself on the very edge of the bed, trying to put as much space between them as possible. But Cas manages to get close anyway. The guy is everywhere. He's on a mission to drive Dean crazy.

And then there's skin on his skin again, Cas' hand resting on his shoulder right under the sleeve of his t-shirt, and he falls off of the bed again. „Damn it!“ His pride is gone by the time, with nowhere to be found. The angel just laughs contentedly.

„Oh!“ Dean exclaims. „You are enjoying it, aren't you?“ Anger creeps in again, mixed with embarrassement. He gets on the bed again and takes as much space as he can, pressing his body into Cas'. His leg between Castiel's legs, which are totally bare, but Dean isn't going to chicken out. His arm's on the angel's stomach, which is covered with a shirt, thank God. And then he stills himself trying not to think about their positions, about how much of his skin is touching Cas' skin and where. About how stupid that whole thing is, but he isn't giving the angel any satisfaction. About why Cas' breath comes in hitches. Hell, it does come in hitches. And he doesn't move. None of them does.

Dean thinks of something to say, to break that heavy silence. „Well, this is awkward.“ He finds himself saying. Captain Obvious. It's getting harder to breathe. And his head spins a little.

Then there's warm puff of air on his neck. „You are easy to mess with.“ Cas' voice is hoarse, more a whisper, but still too loud, and it rings in his ears.

His body jerks against his will. The angel huffs a soft laugh. „Son of a bitch!“ Dean states, but he is smiling now too. „You think you can mess with me like that?“

„Yes.“ Castiel teases him and he starts stroking Dean's arm where it lays on Cas' stomach.

Dean doesn't think about it too much. He pretends his skin doesn't tingle at his touch and his body doesn't tremble with every stroke. „We'll see about that.“ His voice lets him down, coming out not as determined as he planned. He shifts on the bed supporting his weight on his elbow, his other hand searching for Cas' face. He is glad it's pitch-black cause he might be blushing like a six-year-old girl. It's his turn to make the angel uncomfortable. And when it's done, nobody has to know.

Under his fingers Castiel's face is hot and smooth. He doesn't allow himself to think twice before he covers Cas' mouth with his. He doesn't push further, doesn't deepen the kiss-- just the right amount of pressing. His whole body burns as if on fire, and he feels light-headed. And there's certain unexpected twitching in his pants too, which woah, what the hell? He panics again, jerks his head back. „There.“ Dean mutters in a hoarse voice. Has he gone too far?„I win.“

Castiel is breathing heavily under him. And before Dean considers escaping again, there's a hand on the back of his neck pulling him back in. Dean doesn't find it in himself to resist. Their lips crash together. Raw and firm and warm. This time there's a tentative tongue licking his way in, and Dean parts his lips with an uncontrollable moan. He's about to be embarrassed till he realises Castiel's erection is pressing into his hip. Which should be a reason to panic, but it kind of isn't. Cas' arms find their way under Dean's shirt, wondering all over his bare back, learning every curve and caressing every freckle, pulling his whole body closer to Cas'. And Dean's brain might be short-cirquiting now but he suddenly realizes something. He breaks the kiss right away. „I was angry because I was scared.“ Not the right time, but he needs to get it out now. „Of so many things, Cas.“

„I figured.“ The angel murmurs into his ear and kisses the skin right behind it. „Me too.“


End file.
